Major Cock Up

“DOOMSDAY DOSSIER,” says the Sun’s front-page headline. A Sun reader has found the Ministry of Defence’s “blueprint for terror attacks” lying in a ditch.

The work’s official title is “Directorate Counter Terrorism & United Kingdom Operations Duty Officer File”.

And the paper says the document contains details of covert military operations and “top brass” phone numbers. It would be a “God-send” for al-Qaeda.

The paper calls this a “scandalous security blunder”. It could have “fallen into the wrong hands”.

Happily it is now the hands of “Sun girl” Veronica. And it “throws up a frighteningly long list of potential targets for al-Qaeda assassins, bombers and kidnappers”.

Scary stuff. No matter that al-Qaeda kills indiscriminately, just be very worried that Major Guy Jones, who lost the document, left it in a kit bag behind the front seat of his car.

He’d parked his vehicle and popped into a Sainsbury’s supermarket in a Home Counties town. A thief saw the bag. He broke into the car. He stole the bag. And then, apparently, he tossed it into ditch.

For the record, the major’s kit bag is dark blue. It contains blue T-shirt (1), dark shorts (1) and training shoes (2). And top-secret dossier (46 pages).

A spokesman for the MoD thanks the Sun for returning the document to its headquarters at 32a Acacia Crescent, Hitchin, and promises to review its security procedures at the next policy meeting on July 23rd between 7pm and 9pm (knock three times and bring biscuits).

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink