Anorak News | Wayne Rooney Tells All

Wayne Rooney Tells All

by | 17th, July 2006

“FORSOOTH! I eyed him narrowly…”

The opening line to Wayne Rooney’s autobiography The Story So Far promises to show us the real Wayne.

Of course, Wayne is only 20 years of age, and as is the way with footballers, many more autobiographies are planned.

A footballer’s life moves on at great pace, and already this vital tome fails to take in Wayne’s recent holiday to St Tropez, his new T–shirt (with blue stripes!) and his use of the word “nugatory”.

But the book is thorough to a point, and the Sun takes us “Inside Wayne’s World”.

We learn that Wayne can only get to sleep if there is noise. “I not only have to have the TV and light on to help me sleep but also a vacuum cleaner. Failing to do that, a fan or a hairdryer will do.”

By “fan” we are pretty sure Wayne means a device for moving air around, but he could mean a football fan, and so much the better if this fan has a rattle and a foghorn voice by which to urge Wayne to “Come and get to sleep if you think you’re tired enough”.

Wayne concedes that Coleen hates his need for bedtime noise. But, then, Coleen McLoughlin has had to put up with so much more.

For the first time in public, Wayne talks about his moment of madness with a woman trading under the name Auld Slapper.

“Yes, I had been to a brothel, a massage parlour, call it anything you like, when I was 16,” says Wayne. It was not long after he’d met Coleen. “I felt so ashamed that I’d let her down so much,” he adds. He asks himself why he’d done such a “shameful thing”.

And he wonders how he can make things right. And if showering his lover with two engagement rings and assorted other gifts can heal the wound. The Star says Wayne told Coleen: “Spend, spend, spend!”

Not that Wayne doesn’t benefit from buying his lover so many rocks and jewels. If his hairdryer burns out and the fan stops screaming, he can always get Coleen to jangle her jewellery and so get him to sleep.

Posted: 17th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink