Princess Beatrice Parties And Prince Harry Pulls

“WHAT really went on at Beatrice’s ball?”

That’s the burning question on the front page of the Mail. And that it is illustrated with a shot of Princess Beatrice looking toothy and haughty in a blue silk taffeta gown makes it no less vital.

It was Beatrice’s 18th birthday party at Windsor Castle, a do based on an 1888 masked ball.

Inside the paper there are more questions. “A £10,000 dress flown in from New York, the model who captivated Andrew, rap music until 3am and bacon butties at dawn. But where were Wills and senior royals?”

Let us consider each issue in turn. We have already noted the dress, a hard-to-miss creation of tent-like dimensions.

And now we deal with the mo-del. She goes by the name of Angie Everhart, and she’s an American. And she’s an ex-model, having turned her back on the catwalk and become an actress. The Sun (“Andrew had a ball with the actress”) says Angie and Andy have become close in the past nine months. We should also note that, like his former wife Sarah – who can be seen wearing a dress not dissimilar enough to her daughter’s – Angie has red hair.

As for the rap music, well, that only kicked in once the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra had played a “medley of classic tunes”, or ‘Musak Live!’ as it is known to the masses.

Then a DJ turned up the dials and played tracks by 50 Cent and other rap artistes. Very possibly the Orchestra kept time on stings and oboe, but we cannot be certain.

The bacon speaks for itself. And Wills and Harry? Wills we hear nothing of. But the Star says Harry has been sighted with a mum of two in her thirties.

She’s called Catherine Davies, 34, and Harry is said to have lifted her off her feet and planted a kiss on her lips in a London bar.

And that’s the lot. All questions have been answered. Although the identities of the aged man and woman doing the electric boogaloo to Get Rich or Die Tryin’ in D Major remain something of a mystery…

Posted: 17th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink