Anorak News | Robbie Williams’ Swear Box

Robbie Williams’ Swear Box

by | 24th, July 2006

“HE was really tender. But I wanted to get dirty and he wasn’t comfortable with a lot of my ideas.”

The words of Blonde Slag, a woman who claims to have met Robbie Williams in Gothenburg and stayed behind for an after-show performance, as reported by the Star.

Blonde Slag may or may not be a real name, but if her testimony is true, then Robbie might not be all that adventurous in bed. Fembot, another woman who says she slept with the singer on his current tour, replies to Ms Slag: “You’re right, he wasn’t that imaginative but was good at the basics.”

Robbie, who is reportedly keeping a log of his sexual conquests on tour, might see his love making technique as a comment on his singing career. Robbie gives you what you expect but is neither satisfying nor daring. He fills a gap.

Take his new record Rudebox, not only has the tune a terrible title, but it is, as the Sun’s Victoria Newton says, the “worst record” she has ever heard. And as the Sun’s “showbiz writer of the year”, Victoria has heard lots of bad records.

Robbie might agree, or he might not. It’s hard to know what he means by his comment on the song and the album that contains it: “Rudebox is loads of different things, sometimes it could be a vibe delivered in a spaceship direct to the studio, sometimes it’s a really nasty girl dancing scantily clad, or sometimes it’s a giant soundsystem…Sometimes it’s actually just a box that tells you to f*** off too."

While we thrill to Robbie’s swear box, the more promising news is that British pop’s biggest star has not run utterly dry of ideas. The Mirror says that his album draws on his life to date and features a track called She’s Madonna.

Robbie once dated a certain blonde called Tania Strecker, a TV presenter who had been dating Guy Ritchie. According to rumour, the Mockney director ended his affair with Strecker with the line: “Look, you know I really love you, but she’s Madonna.”

It’s a neat line. And forms the basis of Robbie’s song. Now if he can just get Blonde Slag to rap all over it, it cannot fail to be a hit…

Posted: 24th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink