Cheryl & Ashley’s Best Man

JUST as every generation of England footballers will always be compared with the World Cup-winning heroes of 1966, so every best man at a footballer’s wedding will always be compared with the legendary Bob Wilson.

Wilson, you may remember, was best man at David Seaman’s (second) wedding – and Safe Hands’ volley of guffaws at his friend and fellow goalkeeper’s bons mots will live long in the memory (and eardrums) of those lucky enough to be present.

It was into such a giant’s shoes that Matthew Cole stepped as he performed in time-honoured tradition for brother Ashley, who was recently married to his sweetheart Cheryl Tweedy in a fairy-tale wedding in the eyes of God and OK!

If Matthew did not quite fill Bob’s boots, then there is no disgrace in that. His speech was, in the estimation of no mean a judge as OK!, “short-but-sweet”.

“I’d like to sing the groom’s praises,” he began (in a manner that would have had the great Wilson chuckling in approval), “but he doesn’t have any.” BOOM, BOOM!

“He is kind, generous and honest,” he continued (playing with the audience like a master puppeteer), “but he gets that from his brother.” KERRRASH!

Then it was on to more serious stuff before he brought the speech to its fitting Wilsonian climax.

“You should marry someone you can’t live without,” he said, “which Ashley has. Even if Cheryl does get him to poop-a-scoop their dog!”

At which point Matthew sat down as all the other guests rose as one to their feet to give an enthusiastic cheer.

All except one. Sitting on a chair in the corner a strangely familiar old man with a pair of Sondico gloves nodded to himself, allowed himself a wry smile and slipped off quietly into the night…

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink