Anorak News | Terrible Sex

Terrible Sex

by | 28th, July 2006

At Anorak we’ve been looking at Richard from all sorts of angles. And for the life of we can’t see how he came to consider himself a “sexual terrorist”.

It sounded exciting when Richard told us what he was. Sexual terrorism may even be what he did for a living.

Richard wore a glove with a sparkly ring over it. Only villains in Batman and Cruella de Ville ever did that. And he stuck his finger in the corner of his mouth like a coquette. Richard threatened a truly terrible sexual experience.

Even when we heard Richard was a waiter by trade, we imagined him being overly sexual at work, delivering the bill to table between the cleft of his buttocks and demanding a tip lest the shag the diners to within an inch of their lives.

But Richard is no terrorist. True, Daryl Van Horne has become upset by Richard referring to him as “she” and “her”. But it is fanciful to suppose this is a terrorist ploy to weaken DVH’s resolve to that he sleeps with Richard.

“Make it stop,” begs DVH. Richard peels back the covers on his bed and pats the mattress. “Nooooo!” screams DVH. “Oh, get her,” says Richard. DVH drags his body across the divide to Richard’s waiting bed. “You’re safe now,” says Richard.

The lights dim.

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink