The Sting

“I’m worth the money. People are realising now they’ve launched a star. I’m actually multi-talented.”

We won’t bother to get you ask who delivered those lines – it could be any one of the Big Brother housemates speaking.

We will just tell you is that they are the words of Shahbaz Chauhdry. The Mirror has called him up and wants to know what he will charge for a personal appearance in a Glasgow nightclub.

For two hours work, Shahbaz wants a grand. And he wants the money up front. “I have my own original songs I’d like to perform so I will need to do a soundcheck,” he goes on.

Shahbaz is talking to the Mirror’s reporter who is “armed with a list of fake events and a blank chequebook”. The Mirror’s reporter might not even be reporter at all but a work experience hack as desperate to get on as the targets of this sting.

Perhaps it is all meant to be deeply ironic. Here’s a piece about how former housemates think they are famous (Ha! Ha!) and expect people to pay to see them (Ha!). How sad is that? Good job a national newspaper exposed them for the no-marks they surely are (Ha!)

And Shahbaz is not alone. A call to Sezer Yurtseven discovered that he wants £2,000 to open a secondhand car dealership in Slough. Grace Adams-Short wants £1,500 to attend the launch of a singles night in London. She also wants £250 for personal security.

Lea Walker’s agent thinks £5,000 is a fair price for his client to open a beauty salon in Newcastle. “If it’s lunchtime or dinnertime then if you could have some food for her there so she doesn’t faint,” says the agent. “But nothing fancy, just some sandwiches and crisps would be fine.” The deal is negotiated. The fee is reduced to £1,000. But there is no movement on the crisps.

And it would cost £3,000 to hire Nikkki for your 18th birthday party. For three grand you get an hour of Nikkkki, including autographs, photographs and a question-and-answer session, with or without polygraphs.

Who would pay to get a load of that lot! And where do they get their ludicrous prices from? Tsk! It’s not like anyone sane would pay for an audience with any of that lot. Least of all a, er, tabloid newspaper…

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink