Sexy Football

“THIS was a superhuman effort against all the odds. If you were writing a Hollywood film, this would be rejected as a fairytale.”

And because we are writing a Hollywood blockbuster (isn’t everyone) we read on.

With our English-Aramaic dictionary close to hand and the number of Mel Gibson’s agent on speed dial, we pay attention.

And the story is pretty much just what you’d expect from a Hollywood film, although the actors wouldn’t be gay and the Americans would win.

The news is that England are world champions. As the Sun reports (“IT’S COMING HOMO”), England have won the World Cup…“of GAY football”.

Gay football? What’s all this then. We have long laboured under the impression that football is football, but now we learn of gay football, and that the English are the best in the world at it.

Team manager Eric Armanazi, who we’ve heard compare his Stonewall FC’s side’s 3-1 win over America’s Florida Storm Soccer in Chicago to a fairytale, delivers the killer plot.

“We hardly had a touch in the first 20 minutes,” says he with a possible nod and a wink, “and it was very tight in the second half.”

He goes on: “We snatched the lead four minutes into extra time…At half time we changed to a 3-4-3 formation. It proved to be a masterstoke.”

So this is gay football. And England are talking a good game…

Posted: 3rd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink