Justin Timberlake Invites Us To His Wedding

“WHEN we decide, I will be sure to invite you, all right?”

Justin Timberlake is talking with OK! about his wedding to Cameron Diaz. And we’ve just heard him invite the magazine to the do.

OK! works real magic at weddings, turning crabsticks in Marie Rose sauce into delicate batons of exotic fish served in a traditional jus. Exploded meringues of taffeta and lace become to-die-for creations at the bleeding edge of fashion. Glorified knuckledusters in shiny silver and garish rock-sized diamonds are transformed into timeless creations of the jeweller’s art. The groom is handsome. The bride shines.

Justin is wise to invite OK! to his wedding. All he need do is rustle up a few paper serviettes, some jelly and ice-cream and DJ Chav’s mobile disco and human beat box and watch OK! turn it into something beyond the reach of all but the most deserving.

Problem is, OK! has been known to pay to attend such starry dos. Justin could have got the whole shebang paid for with an invite to OK!. Instead he offers the invitation for free.

This is a major scoop for OK!. And we’d forgive the magazine for ending the interview there, celebrating the invite and the saving of the £1million or more it might have paid Justin.

But it presses on. OK! wants to know how Just and Cameron’s charity trip to Tanzania went.

Just and Cam arrived in Africa to find the locals celebrating. Were they hoping that Justin and Cameron would do for their corner of the Dark Continent what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have done for Namibia?

Er, no. “They were celebrating because they had a well with drinking water,” says Just. “See, there are some places where being famous doesn’t mean anything!”

Indeed. And it was Justin and Cam’s bad luck to find one.

But on a day of good news, OK! surely finds cause for a double celebration. It should be thinking about spending the money it saved on the Timberlake–Diaz do on the launch of OK! Africa, introducing the deprived locals to tales of Justin and Cameron’s wedding, with more bottled water than you can shake a crabstick at…

Posted: 15th, August 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink