Anorak News | Paris Hilton & Other Nightmares

Paris Hilton & Other Nightmares

by | 17th, August 2006

“DO you wake in a cold sweat after dreams of being hunted by Sir Cliff Richard – or shouted at by Davina McCall?” asks the Sun.

Tony Blair might well nod. But he and others like him should not worry. The Sun’s nightmare expert tells us that 3 per cent of Britons have bad dreams every night. And dreaming of celebrities is not uncommon.

And to test the research the Sun has issued its readers with a challenge: can you read the paper and make it through the night without dreaming of Keira Knightley suffocating you with a tiny gold dress or being trapped in a lift with only a guitar and James Blunt for company?

There is page upon page of celebrity news in the Sun. And because we at Anorak never sleep we are able to read on and learn that Paris Hilton is to star in a new TV show called America’s Cutest Pup.

The Sun delivers the news about American TV listings that other papers do not dare to approach. And the story is that Paris and her “beloved” chihuahua Tinkerbell are to front a new show in which owners parade their dogs on the telly.

A source explains: “It will be a bit like the new Liza Tarbuck TV show – Britain’s Top Dog – except the emphasis will be on cute little dogs rather than daft mutts.”

Perhaps now we see the relevance of this news. These dog shows reveal much about a nation’s psyche. American dogs are cute, British dogs are eccentric, and Malaysian dogs are delicious and come served on a bed of noodles.

And for pudding there’s a shot of Bruce Willis surfing, P Diddy illustrating a City story on how the new rules on airline hand baggage could hit sales of cosmetics, and news on how Heather Mills McCartney has been wearing an orange hairband.

It’s the stuff of nightmares.

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink