Anorak News | Wag-ruptcy


by | 22nd, August 2006

WHAT’S the difference between a Wag and a wannabe Wag? The answer is, of course, a footballer.

You can have any number of titanium credit cards and store cards for boutiques in provincial Cheshire but there is no escaping the need for the man in the muddy boots.

Without him you are nothing. No, you are less than nothing. You are in peril of “Wag-ruptcy”, the pursuit of the blonde tints, the garish clothes and the all-year-round orange skin at any price.

The Sun has identified the phenomena of woman who want to look like Coleen McLoughlin and Alex Curran. With ambition that exceeds a can of Ronseal satin varnish (to keep at bay the ravages of watching your footballer play for his pub team on a cold night in January), the wannabe Wag is spending more than she can afford.

“Young women are increasingly choosing the Wag lifestyle but it can’t be sustained indefinitely,” says Keith Steven of accountancy firm Wilkins Kennedy.

“So many people are teetering on the brink of the precipice.”

Being a Wag cannot go on forever. Mr Stevens is right.

But it is not only Wannabe Wags that should tighten their belt but Wags too. (Note: Victoria Beckham should not try to tighten her belt any more as she runs the risk of cutting herself in two and chipping bone. And no-one want to see that.)

The life of a footballer is perilous, always a reckless tackle away from the end. Wags would be advised to prepare to the future.

And to ensure a rosy future, the Wag should: a) get their footballer to pursue a lucrative media career; b) enter into a programme of buying and then retuning overpriced clothing, retaining refunds in a secret private account, or large post-op bra; or c) push for their man to play for Chelsea.

Posted: 22nd, August 2006 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink