The Scouse House

SHOCK news. Scousers have been seen doing a Cockney accent.

Just as Londoners believe that Harry Enfield’s Scousers skit was a fly-on-the-wall documentary on life by the Mersey, Scousers view Only Fools And Horses as study of life in the great metropolis.

The Mirror brings news of the life in the ultimate Scouse house that belongs to Wayne Rooney and his wagtastic girlfriend Coleen McLoughlin.

Often conversations between two Liverpudlians are audible to only dolphins and basking whales but the Mirror, ever mindful of its London readers’ limitation, translates.

The paper says Wayne is a “master mimic” and is always taking off Del Boy and Rodney Plonker from the Only Fools And Horses TV show.

“Wayne is really funny, he has a great sense of humour,” says Coleen. Indeed, repeating verbatim ‘funny’ scenes and lines from TV comedy shows and movies is guaranteed a laugh in certain circles.

And we do not doubt that young Wayne can say “a bomb” in the manner of Peter Sellers and narrate entire scenes from Monty Python to the delight of his many doubled-up mates.

“He is constantly mimicking Del Boy and Rodney,” says Coleen. “He is 10 times funnier at home than anywhere else.”

And that’s very funny. Who has failed to smile at Wayne’s slapstick comedy when he stuck his fake rubber boot into Portugal defender Ricardo Carvalho’s groin at the World Cup, or chuckled as Wayne delivered his trademark riposte “f*** off” to everybody and anybody?

Wayne’s a laugh. Hell, he might be a bigger wag than his wife…

Posted: 23rd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink