Anorak News | Dear God…

Dear God…

by | 25th, August 2006

DEAR God. Will you fix it for me to be a Roman Catholic so that I can attend our Lady of the Sacred Heart School and not be made to go to Bogside Comprehensive City Academy where I will discover drugs and that you CAN get pregnant outside of holy matrimony. Amen.

The Mail thinks the time is ripe to take a look at the kind of things children ask God for. As its front page says: “Heart warming and unintentionally hilarious letters children write to the Almighty.”

Someone has compiled these missives into a book. Here are a few of them. “In Sunday school they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on holiday?” asks Jane, age not supplied.

By holiday, Jane means Sunday. And since no-one does anything on this day of rest, no-one is in charge. Although if God takes a lengthy sabbatical, John Prescott would like to be known that he is open to offers.

There are many more letters. “Dear God. Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?” asks Lucy.
“Dear God, I think the stapler is one of your greatest invention. Ruth M.”

“Dear God. When people talks of selling their soul to the Devil, what are his rates and should you take his signed personal cheque or stick with gold? Young Old Mr Anorak.”

Sadly, God is too busy to reply to each of these letters. But his spokesperson tells us that he is always happy to hear from his fans and to keep buying the book.

And that anyone who doesn’t will be cast into the very pits of Hell. For it is written.

Posted: 25th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink