Anorak News | Junk Mail

Junk Mail

by | 30th, August 2006

YOU are the vanguard revolutionaries who will make this nation great again. Shake out your newspapers, throw off your inserts and join the “great junk mail revolt”. it’s revolution now.

And – irony of ironies – the revolution against junk mail begins on the front page of your trusted and very much wanted Daily Mail.

The catalyst for this uprising was the suspension of Roger Annies, 48, a postman in Barry, South Wales. Roger’s crime was to have produced a leaflet in which his “customers” were told how to opt out of receiving junk mail.

This “backfired” and now thousands of us are demanding an end to junk mail, otherwise known as “door-to-door”.

But the authorities are fighting back and those lucky enough to get through to the Royal Mail’s anti-junk mail hotline are given a “scarcely-veiled threat”. They are told that they might not receive local and national government missives which “could contain vital communications”.

The letter Royal Mail despatches to applicants advises them to be “fully aware of the implications”.

We already are. The end of such letters would mark the cessation of Anorak’s campaign to create a living library of official communiqués.

Letters from your local representatives, in which they tell you how very local they are (we once found proud-to-be-local LibDem MP Sarah Teather living in the bread bin here in the Anorak Towers kitchenette), are gems. They must be allowed to get through.

It pains us to say it, and we are not proud, but Anorak does not back the revolution. We advise our readers NOT to tear out the Mail’s “HOW TO STOP JUNK MAIL” form, which should be signed and sent by post to Door to Door Opt Outs in Oxford.

We have put up a “JUNK PLEASE” polite request above our letterbox and welcome a flood of paper.

Vetting what falls through your letterbox of a day is the thin edge of the wedge. The Mail should think on. Ban the missive today and ban the Mail’s sport section tomorrow.

It’s the road to anarchy…

Posted: 30th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink