Brand New Love

ONE celebrity on the up is Russell Brand. The gauche presenter of Big Brother spin-off shows is in the Sun, appearing under the headline: “THE SWINE, WOMEN..AND SONG.”

Earlier in the Sun, readers are introduced to a topless shot of Kate Moss, one of Russell’s conquests. She’s dressed in a pirate hat (get a load of her “treasure chest”) and a pair of hideous knickers in red, white and blue.

While some Sun readers dream of giving Kate a Jolly Rogering, others get to read of one man who has. And that after “bedding” three fans in one night, Russell turned his attentions to crusty rocker Courtney Love.

“He was delicious,” says Courtney of the night she and Russell spent together in London’s Claridge’s hotel. Courtney says she gave Russell a cravat as a “love token. “He certainly earned it with his performance,” she adds.

This is no slur. For many of us, having our lover hand us a cravat after making love would be an insult, a snide inference that we are blessed with all the sexual know how of a member of the Morris Minor owners’ club, Bromsgrove chapter.

But to Russell this is praise. The man who dresses like a demented fop is probably delighted with his rag.

And he may have earned more neckerchiefs after romping with three girls after his Edinburgh Fringe show. One 18-year-old girl who says she did not sleep with 31-year-old Russell (she’s called Nadine and mum might be reading) says the telly star seduced his fans with the line: “We have maters to discuss.”

“He kept lifting my skirt and grabbing my backside,” says Nadine. “He wanted to sleep with me but I’m just not like that.”

Indeed. So she and another girl just kissed him instead. And got to see him in his Y-fronts and fluffy socks. “He is quite well equipped downstairs and he clearly wanted to show off,” says Nadine.

Although he might have just found someone new to wear his cravat…

Posted: 31st, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink