Anorak News | God Speed

God Speed

by | 7th, September 2006

CAN you be baptised with Cherryade? What about Lilt? Pernod?

We only ask because we are about to board the school bus to Townsend Church of England School, St Albans, and are concerned that we are unfit for travel.

We have read the Express’s report that Sydnie Jai, 11, has been banned from travelling on the school bus on account of her not having been baptised.

As a non believer, a heathen if you will, Sydnie must travel by public transport. Her slow ride to hell features two buses divided by a lengthy wait in bus stop limbo.

“My daughter’s first day at school has been ruined by this ridiculous rule”, says Sydnie’s mum Frances Wood.

Nick Seaton, from the Campaign for Real Education, agrees that it is “ridiculous”. Says he: “To discriminate against young children is absolutely disgraceful”. It’s “probably illegal”.

But what is the law of land against the will of God? And the Express hears from a spokesman for Hertfordshire County Council, which operates the Highway to Heaven.

“We think it is quite reasonable when offering transport to faith schools that parents show that the child is of that faith.”

Indeed. And while inviting Jewish schoolboys in the area to show their allegiances might prove controversial, we are tolerant of the council’s doctrine.

And ask again: can you be baptised by Lilt? And would anyone mind if we shook up the can and did everyone as a job lot..?

Posted: 7th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink