Anorak News | The Tories’ Den

The Tories’ Den

by | 14th, September 2006

THIS year’s Conservative Party conference will be staged in Bournemouth – at the end of the pier.

It won’t be a farce – lots of half-naked bodies zipping in out of rooms through windows and doors (there’ll be enough of that at the local guest houses). This is to be a talent show.

As the Telegraph reports, this year’s production, held beneath the banner “A New Direction", will feature MPs performing skits inspired by the television show The Dragons’ Den.

The paper says that “Ann Widdecombe will be transformed into a Tory ‘dragon’”, with lots of pink lipstick, a Marks & Spencer trouser suit and pearls.

For those of you not in the know, The Dragons’ Den is a show that invites inventors to pitch for investment from a bevy of smarmy, smug and gurning self-made millionaires.

In the Tory version, “four prospective candidates will be called on to the platform at the end of each day to sell a policy they want the Conservatives to adopt”. Widdecombe, Oliver Letwin, the party’s policy chief, and Michael Brown, a former MP, will appraise each effort.

The Telegraph says, “The ideas chosen will be fed into the party’s policy review process, which will come to fruition next summer.” While not an investment of hard currency, it is, nonetheless, the kind of thing that turns thrusting Tories on.

And joining the panel will be one Rachel Elnaugh, who appeared on the actual show. Miss Elnaugh created Red Letter Days, which sold experiences such as hot air balloon rides, shark diving and being Tory leader.

The paper tells us: “It went into administration last year before being bought by her fellow Dragons Theo Paphitis and Peter Jones.”

Later, the entire conference will retire for a Big Brother-style experience in a nearby theme pub, where they will wait to be evicted by members of the public…

Posted: 14th, September 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink