Anorak News | We Ate Jamie Oliver

We Ate Jamie Oliver

by | 17th, September 2006

“THIS is all down to Jamie,” says Sam Walker in the Mirror. “I just don’t like him and what he stands for. He’s forcing our kids to become more picky about their food.

"Who does he think he is, all high and mighty? He can feed whatever he wants to his children but he should realise that other parents think differently."

Sam is a parent, or what Jamie Oliver calls an “a***hole” and a “tosser”. As Jamie said: "If you’re giving your children fizzy drinks you’re an a***hole, you’re a t**sser. If you give them bags of crisps you’re an idiot.”

Julie Critchlow is also “a***hole” and a “tosser”. Oh, and an “idiot”. Sam and Julie are women in their early 40s and take offence at being called names by a celebrity chef.

And they are upset at what their children and their classmates at Rawmarsh Comprehensive School at Rotherham, South Yorks, are fed on. So they have set up a meals on wheels service.

It’s an alternative to what Julie calls the “disgusting, overpriced rubbish” served up by the school.

This year sees the arrival of so-called healthy menus in schools. That means less fried food, chips, turkey twizzlers and salt.

As the Sun reminds us: “Jamie helped win £20million from the Government to improve school meals after his last series, Jamie’s School Dinners on Channel 4.” Not only is Jamie on the side of good and righteousness, he is also on the side of the Government. He’s that cool.

And, amazingly, not all children like Jamie’s message. So every day, Sam and Julie deliver fish and chip lunches, pies, burgers and fizzy drinks to their children and their children’s schoolmates. The women pass the food through a gap in a school fence.

“We’re now delivering around 50 to 60 meals a day,” says Julie. “We don’t make a penny on it, we just want to make sure the kids are properly fed.”

She continues: “They don’t enjoy the school food and the end result is that they’re starving. Even the teachers go down to the local sandwich shop or take their own lunches. But the kids don’t have that choice."

A spokesman for Jamie replies: “If parents are struggling to afford a school meal then they should make the effort to construct a proper lunchbox with fruit and veg, dairy, bread and protein.”

So let’s get on with it. Come on, mum and dad, make an effort. Get the protein? Yes, beef burgers are protein. And then bread. Like a beef burger bun? Yes. Add the vegetables. That’s right, the chips? And don’t forget the dairy. Like the cheese on the cheeseburger? Right-on.

Jamie’s spokesman continues: "If these mums want effectively to shorten kids’ lives that’s down to them."

It is down to them. And it is down to the children.

Indeed, perhaps the most shocking thing about the mums on the school junk food run is that these women’s children haven’t died already…from embarrassment.

Unless, of course, mum is lacing the food parcels with other contraband – like non-organic fags and hooch..? 

Posted: 17th, September 2006 | In: Reviews Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink