Anorak News | Mind-Bending It Like Beckham

Mind-Bending It Like Beckham

by | 18th, September 2006

“I SPOKE to Tom Cruise when I was axed…he helped me,” says David Beckham on the Mirror’s front page.

The former England captain has yet to appear on daytime TV, jumping on Richard & Judy’s couch and screaming: "I’m in love! I’m in love!" He has also yet to feel a need for speed, or Scientology.

But David did speak to Tom on the phone about his post-England life. Says Dayve: “He talked about everything I had done in the World Cup, about the goals I scored and the goals I set up.

“He said I was a great player, that I played for Real Madrid, I’ve got a healthy family and three boys and a wife who love me to bits.”

Tom might even have told David about Scientology, how it is the new Kabbalah and puts added bend in your balls.

But Tom is not the only thing that helped Dave get over the news that he was no longer in the England team, let alone its captain.

What would Dave be without Victoria? She is the Paul Burrell to Dave’s Princess Diana. As Dave says: “Victoria has been my rock”. And lest you doubt it, here’s Dave again: “Like I said, she’s been my rock.”

And not just any rock. But a rock in a leather pencil skirt and heels. Indeed, as the Sun says, Posh is the rock who is also the country’s foremost “yummy mummy”.

In a poll conducted by a baby food company, Her Poshness is Britain’s foremost mum. As the Star says, Posh won praise for her “perfect” grooming “despite” having to look after her sons.

How does Posh do it? With three sons to play with, wash and dress, she still manages to look immaculate and change her clothes any number of times in a single day. Perhaps they help her. Brooklyn teases her hair, Romeo picks out her outfits and Cruz paints her nails and face?

The boys are well trained. No wonder Dave can rely on his wife. And that’s Dave who won the male side of the poll and is officially the country’s “dishiest dad”.

It is true to say that life is not over for Dave. Far from it. And though he is no longer our top footballer, he is our top dad.

And a top gun.

Posted: 18th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink