The Anorak Dictionary
Archery (n) – Sporting contest in which contestants compete to tell the most outrageous lie, the winner of which receives a brown envelope containing £2,000 in cash.
(“I’ve never seen archery like it – it was literally unbelievable.”)
Bext (message) (n) – An obscene text message.
(“You should see the bext he sent me. He’s one dirty son of a bitch.”)
Bovey (adj) An orangey-brown colour.
(“That meat looks off. It’s gone a horrible bovey colour.”)
Fawcett (n) Instrument used mainly by aristocrats and male members of the Royal Family to hold their penis steady while urinating.
(“Lord Bath had one of the finest collection of antique fawcetts in the world.”)
Feltz (n) An imperial unit of weight, equivalent to 40 cwt or two imperial tons.
(“It took a crane to lift her out of the bath – she must have weighed a good five Feltz.”)
Moyle (n) A facial deformity, a cross between a mole and a boil.
(“Talk about the perfect face for radio – he’s got moyles everywhere”)
Neo-con (vb) To pull the wool over the eyes of the electorate.
(I can’t believe we got neo-conned into voting for that moron again”)
Parlour (vb) To take to the cleaners, particularly in the context of the break-up of a relationship.
(“She really parloured me – she went off with all my Take That CDs.”)
Pinder (vb) To be top-heavy, to teeter on the brink of falling over.
(“Watch out for that stack of plates – they’re starting to pinder.”)
Spousled (adj) In an advanced state of inebriation, such that you might get married by mistake.
(“After getting her fifth marriage annulled this year, Britney swore she would never get spousled again.”)
TB (n) A disease of Anglo-Scottish origins in which the victim cannot stop grinning like a gingivitic vicar. Not to be confused with the more mild but no-less painful tuberculosis.
TWIT (Abb.) The Weed In Tweed. (Prince Edward is TWIT.)
Posted: 29th, September 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
