Anorak News | Third-World Mothers

Third-World Mothers

by | 2nd, October 2006

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. And if it can’t think any up, it looks at scientific research.

Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…


“Daren’s Cup of tears. Six weeks after losing his wife to breast cancer, Clarke can’t hold back the emotion as he celebrates Europe’s victory” – The Mail sees Darren Clarke help Europe to win golf’s Ryder and uses a long lens to capture his tears


“Excuse me, did you notice the decline of good manner?” – It’s the top skill dying our, dont-yer-know…

“THE NHS CHILDBIRTH CRISIS – This couple lost their baby after being turned away from a busy maternity unit. Mothers tell of being left to struggle for hours in delivery rooms with blood-caked floors. Welcome to Britain’s third world maternity service” – Perhaps Angelina Jolie will adopt us?

The Numbers:
“11m – the number of back pain sufferers in the UK”
“24 – the percentage of parents who send their children to school without breakfast”
“25 – the percentage of people in the UK who experience some kind of mental health problem very year”

“Can you trust home blood pressure kits? – Dunno

“THE MID-LIFE BINGERS – If you thought only the young drank to excess, think again. That oh-so civilised bottle a night may be more than your ageing body can cope with”

“The lung transplant gave her cancer. It just didn’t seem fair”

“The generation at risk from a ‘toxic society’” – So says Rowland Constaine, chairman of the Incorporated Association of Preparatory Schools


“THE AGONY OF WE EMPTY NEST MUMS – You’ve worried yourself sick bringing them up but now they’re leaving home for university or that first job. Here broadcaster Jenni Murray, whose youngest son has just left, describes the terrible emptiness that she and countless other mothers are experiencing” – Perhaps they can fill their days by writing about it, like Jenni?

“DANGER LURKING IN FRUIT AND VEG” – Avoid fruit and veg!


“Playing fields crisis ‘boosts child obesity’” – And we thought it was because they ate crisps all day

“Crisis for the crabs of Cromer” – The velvet crab is off the menu

“They have long been glorious, if mysterious symbols of the British landscape. But today our owls are dying out in record numbers. VANISHING OF THE NIGHT” – Are Romanians and Bulgarians eating our owls?


“Danger of a baby bulge. Mums who don’t lose the weight gained in pregnancy face problems with later births”

Posted: 2nd, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink