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Cameron’s Flock Of Seagulls

by | 2nd, October 2006

MARGARET Thatcher would not have made the same error. Not for the Iron Lady the loose tresses of Samantha Cameron, wife to Tory leader David.

It’s okay walking into the wind with unglued hair: hair is pushed back, the face pulled tight into a wind-tunnel grin and eyes narrows with steely determination.

It’s when the wind comes from behind, pushing you along against your will, that the problems begin. It produces pictures like the Times’s shot of Samantha with her eyes shut and hair looking like the kind of thing seen atop A Flock of Seagulls. That’s the 1980s band – although one of the local Bournemouth seabirds may care to nest in the Cameron thatch.

The wind is blowing hard on the south coast. The Tory’s tree, that chalky drawing that promises a green future for all with more acorns than you can shake a stick at, is in danger of being torn up.

Just take a look at the Times’s front-page headline: “Police quiz Tory donors over cash for peerages.”

The cash-for-peerages investigation now involves a “number” of rich Tory donors”. And includes a certain Robert Edmiston, a Tory multimillionaire.

Edmiston has been questioned by police about a loan deal, described as “secret” by the Times, “which had the effect of circumventing the law that requires all donations of £5,000 or more to be made public.”

Like that Tory tree, this sounds shady. Of course, it all might be perfectly innocent. If, as the Telegraph reports, Mr Edmiston wants to loan the Tories £2million and does not mind that it is not repaid, then so be it.

He might be a generous sort who just likes the cut of David’s cloth, and his hair. So what that he was put forward for a peerage.

As the Telegraph says: “His was among nominations for a peerage blocked by a watchdog in the summer, although that was in relation to tax issues.”

It all sounds so very hard on Mr Edmiston. We do not care to comment on the legal rights and wrongs of the matter, only to say that if someone did want to pay a fortune to be called a Lord, that’s their look out. In any case, there is something deeply sad and needy about it. Let them have a peerage. Let anyone who wants one have one. Let’s spread some cheer.

And Dave is all about cheery things. The Guardian hears him say: “Let sunshine win the day!” Dave later shows delegates his “webcameron”.

Dave is on a webcam. He’s at home. Dave’s clearing away the breakfast things. He loads the dishwasher.

Only one other man has been known to load a dishwasher, and that was Sven Goran Eriksson. Faria Alam, the keepy-uppy FA secretary, claimed the former England manager saw to the dishes before bedding her.

In which case, it seems like a good time to leave Dave and the Tories to their domestic chores. And tell Samantha that perhaps she need not bother doing her hair…



Posted: 2nd, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink