Anorak News | Lunatic In No 10

Lunatic In No 10

by | 3rd, October 2006

“LUNATIC GETS INTO No 10,” announces the Sun’s front page. You want satire. You get satire.

Surprising to see it on the front page of the Sun, but there you are. The internet is a hotbed of new journalism and the newspapers will take it on any way they can. Satire, celebrity gossip, pictures of badgers – they’ll publish the lot so long as it keeps readers.

The Mail seems very much in on the joke as it announces: “The tricky questions go on hold as Blair tells all to Blue Peter.”

The Mail’s Tony Blair tells Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq that he can’t remember if he ever made anything shown on the programme.

And what began as a promising parody falls away. The Mail misses the chance to show Tony making a Dr Who Tardis from a small plastic berry container and empty juice carton and dreaming of travelling back in time to watch Jackie Milburn score for Newcastle United and marry Maggie Thatcher.

And so it’s back to the Sun’s story, which now announces in headline form: “ALARM WAS OFF AT No10.”

It seems that when the lunatic was in the Downing Street grounds the alarms were not on. They had been shut off to allow gardeners to go about their work unmolested.

The “deranged intruder” was only spotted when a passing policeman heard the soft thud as, having scaled the 6ft railings, he jumped to the ground.

The Mirror uses its finest cartoonist to re-enact what might have been the scene. At 10:36pm, the intruder scales the fence at the back of Downing Street and enters the outer security area.

He his heard by an officer from the Diplomatic Protection Squad. The two men struggle. The intruder is pinned to the ground and found to be carrying “quite a large” knife.

The man is arrested on suspicion of affray and assaulting a police officer. The accused is due to appear before London’s City of Westminster magistrates court today.

Where he will give his name as G. Brown and explain that the sword is a ceremonial claymore as used by all true Scotsman and lunatics who want to get into No.10…

Posted: 3rd, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink