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Tuscan Nights

by | 4th, October 2006

TONY Blair is more Anthea Turner than John Leslie. In any case, his appearance on Blue Peter is unlikely to kickstart a new career for the soon-to-be-former Prime Minister as a children’s TV host.

Tony’s appearance on Blue Peter is covered by the papers. In the selfless quest for a story, hacks sat at home and watched Konnie Huq put to the PM questions sent in by the show’s young viewers.

Who is the most famous person Tony has met? “I suppose the best known would be Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton,” says Tony.

Can Tony cook? “I think if I, if I had more time, I kind of feel I could be better at it,” says Tony. That means whatever you want it to mean, although his favourite meal to cook is spaghetti bolognaise.

It’s Tuscan night at No.11. Yeah, No.11. That’s where Tony lives. Is that true? The Times transcribes the answer: “Yeah, I live above No.11, coz the flat above No.10 is actually quite small and coz with four kids living at home, it was too much to be in the No.10 flat.”

Tony lives in the flats in central London, on the Downing Estate. The paper senses a change in Tony’s speaking voice, “blokeish accent…the accent that makes him sound like he’s channeling a pearly king”.

Tony is all things to all men. And he could be coming to a pulpit near you. It’s Tony’s farewell tour. It’s your last chance to catch Tony as Prime Minister.

The papers have seen leaked plans for his “exit strategy”, a “triumphal” departure. It’s part of a memo headed “Reconnecting with the public: a new relationship with the media”.

The memo suggests that the Prime Minister goes on Songs Of Praise and Chris Evans’ radio show. The two programme’s should not be confused (Evans once famously blacklisted Virgin Radio from playing all Cliff Richard songs).

The tour is not yet final. And while it’s in the planning, we suggest other appearances.

Tony at the Millennium Dome; Tony at Euan Blair’s flat in Bristol; Tony at Silvio Berlusconi’s summer villa in Sardinia, Tony in Baghdad.

Tony in America…



Posted: 4th, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink