Tally-Ban Harry!

THOUGH armed with regulation British Army issue non-firing gun and melting boots, Prince Harry might not be allowed to serve in Afghanistan.

Harry, affectionately known as Harry Baseball Cap, will be furious if he is not deployed in a war zone.

Having survived Army training and no small amount of polo, Harry wants to serve. But, as the Express reports, he may be denied.

And to add to his “humiliation”, the Express notes that although Afghanistan might be too dangerous for Harry, it is considered a safe enough place for Princess Anne to tour.

And here we must interject. There is no humiliation in being a lesser man than Anne. Aunty Anne is a fearsome fighter, having proved too tough for Mark Phillips, a Captain in the 1st Queen’s Dragoon Guards. She is more than a match for the Taliban and though she might not win the war, her presence will certainly cause the enemy to sit up straight at Tiffin and not twirl their beards in a menacing and wholly unhygienic manner.

And if Harry should stay in Britain, he will not be alone. As the Mail reports, Prince William is to turn his back on soldiering.

Rather than being shot at in some remote mountain pass, William prefers to run the Queen’s estate at Windsor.

Instead of plugging a breach in the front line, William could be checking the perimeter fence at Windsor Great Park for gaps.

No firm decision has been made, but we suggest that William and Harry team up in his task. If William is to take over the rangership at Windsor, he will need a side kick, a Tonto to help him negotiate the many dangers.

With the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty “Tally-ho Silver Spoon!” the Lone Ranger will win the war against litter, deer poachers and aunty Anne’s dogs of war…

Posted: 9th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink