Anorak News | The Sky Is Falling In!

The Sky Is Falling In!

by | 10th, October 2006

THE sky is falling down! The sky is falling down!

Either that or the North Koreans are attacking, firing spiked green warheads at us.

It’s “conker bonkers”, says the Express. “But not to worry because, as the Mail reports, “the conker busters” are on to it.

Dressed in sunglasses to protect his identity, the Mail publishes a picture of a conker disposal expert removing the weapons of moss destruction that have caught in Newcastle upon Tyne’s trees.

“Words fail me,” says Martin Callanan, the North East’s MEP. “I used to collect conkers as a lad and I never injured myself and nor did any of my fiends.”

The period after the last great war was a playground of unexploded missiles and detonators. And it might be that not everyone was as lucky as Callanan and his pals.

So, as the Sun says, “Trees stripped to ‘save’ kids.” Using a cherry picker, the trees are made bare of conkers before their payload can carpet bomb the ground below.

Of course, the Conker Squad cannot work alone. If you see a suspicious green object lying by a tree or under a car, do not approach it. Instead call 0800 SkyFallingIn.

And run to tell the Queen…

Posted: 10th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink