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Simon Commands

by | 10th, October 2006

“SIMON FIXED IT FOR ME,” says the front page of the Star.

Now then, now then what do we have here? Simon Cowell has fixed it for someone to walk again.

It’s a miracle!

Or at least it will be when X Factor agonist Kerry McGregor casts off her wheel chair, stands up and in the live final of the TV talent show and belts out a rendition of Stand By Me, These Boots Were Made For Walking or Against All Odds.

And if she does it will be all thanks to Simon. It’s more front-page telly news as the Star says Kerry will cast off her wheelchair and be carried onto the stage in the manner of Cleopatra or else sing on a couch.

Yes, sad to say Simon Cowell will not so much fix it as make it look like he’s fixed it. News is – and someone please tell Simon – that the popstar maker is not God after all.,,



Posted: 10th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink