Anorak News | All I Want…

All I Want…

by | 12th, October 2006

ALL I want for Christmas are my two front teeth, a Barbie Cosmetic Surgery, an adopted African baby and gift vouchers to The Priory.

It’s that time of year when people who plan turn to their little ones and ask: “And what would you like for Christmas?”

The smart move is to listen attentively and then tell the child that since they have been so very naughty Christmas has been cancelled.

Or, as many others will do, dash out to the shops and use your plastic to buy loads of, well, plastic.

The Independent produces a list of this year’s must-have toys, and shaped plastic features heavily.

Trainee Wags, with ambitions to be the next Cheryl Cole, can peruse the Bratz Forever Diamondz range. The selection for the discerning brat features dolls with diamante-studded jeans, crop tops, belts, bracelets and earrings. “They come with a tiny, genuine diamond, encased in a necklace, accompanied by a certificate of authenticity,” notes the Indy.

The slogan is “Diamondz are a Bratz Girl’s Best Friend". And the message is a delightful tale of Christmas cheer – look on as Armani holds her diamond aloft and waits for three wise men to bring her some gold, body lotion and something from the junior Prada range.

But if that’s not your thing, what about a Cyberman mask from the Child At Dr Who range? The Telegraph looks at the “life-size Cybermen head that alters the wearer’s voice into the robot creature’s sinister electronic buzz”. It’s a beautiful toy, that should scare the sh*t out of grandma as she relines in her post-Christmas lunch stupor.

Grant Timms of Mega Brands, which manufactures the Pirates of the Caribbean Black Pearl Pirate Ship, tells the Telegraph: "At a time when children spend so long in front of computer screens, we believe many parents would like to see their children doing something more creative and challenging."

Indeed. And just as soon as they’ve finished watching the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD for the umpteenth time on the bounce, they can pick up the ship and with a lusty “Yo-ho-ho!” and the command “Fire at will!”, toss it at mum’s head.

But it need not be like this. If you can’t cancel Christmas, then the next best thing is just to buy a load of boxes and wrap them up.

If the children really want to use their imaginations, let them imagine what was once inside. An exotic Satsuma for the winner who guesses correctly…

Posted: 12th, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink