Cheryl & Ashley’sChavtastic Life
WE’VE checked. But when OK! says Cheryl Cole, wife of humourist and footballer Ashley Cole, is “making the front pages of every newspaper and magazine in her own right”, we must step in.
After Ashley Cole’s ironic take on life as a brattish and spoilt professional footballer in his book My Defence (you did get the joke?), we have taken to hanging on every word about emerges from the Cole comedy camp.
So we check the validity of OK!’s claim and say with little room for doubt that Cheryl has NOT appeared on the cover of the Financial Times, has NOT appeared on the cover of Horse & Hounds and has NOT appeared on the cover of Readers Wives as Nikki from Braintree.
That established, we move on and note that Cheryl is determined to keep her feet on the ground and will not let so much fame and fortune go to her head.
As she says, she has “inspired” people who grow up in Newcastle. One day they too might win a reality TV show and marry a footballer.
She is the chav’s chav, the chav done good. As she says: “I’m happy to be a chav, because a chav is someone who’s come from nothing but has, by working hard, made money and then got to buy designer labels and nice cars.”
By nice, Cheryl is, of course, referring to the chav’s preferred choice of sooped-up Subaru, with glue-on fins and Burberry-print (chav tartan) seat covers. As for he designer labels, these can be bought separately on in packs of ten at an upmarket market stall near you.
In any case, some of Cheryl’s best mates are chavs. “I saw a programme about chavs and Posh and Becks were in there. So I just thought, if they’re chavs, happy days, put me on the list.”
And just like Her Poshness, Cheryl has her own career and her own money. “I often pay,” she says of her nights out with Ashley. “He lets me. But sometimes he doesn’t like it, but I insist. There might be a scene but if I get my credit card out he knows he can’t stop me.”
Of course, Ashley could get his agent to call Cheryl’s agent and tells that she’s “taking the piss” and it has to stop now. He might even ask for a transfer to a different table where someone will show him the respect his wallet deserves and let him pay for their dinner, his dinner and whoever else’s dinner he ruddy well wants to.
Not that they argue. Cheryl used to get things off her chest (see her conviction for attacking toilet attendant Sophie Amogbokpa), but now she’s calmer.
“All my friends and family have said I became a different person when I met Ashley, although I haven’t noticed it.”
It’s hard to marry someone and not change. And to be in Ashley’s company and not develop a unique and refined sense of comedy…
Posted: 12th, October 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
