Faking The Michael

BENEATH the Mirror’s pressing news that the next series of Prime Suspect will feature any one of three filmed endings is an installment from the life and times of Michael Jackson.

News is that Jackson’s ex-wife Debbie Rowe has surrendered visitation rights to their two children, Prince Michael, 9, and Paris, 8, in exchange for the sum of £395,000 a year.

Michael’s lawyer Michael Abrams says: “Michael is satisfied with the results, and I believe Ms Rowe is satisfied.” A friend of Rowe’s tells us: “It was hard for her, but she’s broke.”

And while Ms Rowe now struggles by on the kind of wage endured by a third-rate footballer, the Star looks again of those pictures of Jackson wearing a tight pair of jeans and high-heels.

And it concludes that it is not him after all. “”WE NOSE IT WASN’T WACKO JACKO,” says the headline. “Pictures of a Michael Jackson lookalike in drag fooled everyone yesterday, but not us,” trills the paper with no little pride.

Star readers brought up on a diet ot topless stunnas know a real woman when they see one. They knew it wasn’t Jackson in the blouse and figure-hugging trousers. Right it was that “her long legs and shapely female figure rang alarm bells among doubting readers who realised it couldn’t be a man”.

It was a woman. Although the Star does concede that though the body was not Jackson’s, the face was strickingly similar, the “spitting image”.

And while “papers were forced to aplogise” to the singer (something not mentioned in any other paper), we wonder if there is something else going on? Perhaps after so much surgery, Jackson has had cause to find a new body for his much worked-on head? Might this woman be Jackson after all?

And if it is, we can only rejoice in the truth that with Debbie bought off, the star’s children can have both a mother and father in their lives fulltime. And all the better that he and she should be rolled into one…

Posted: 13th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink