Adopt A F***wit

HEAR, o Pete Doherty, the decrees and laws declared in your hearing today. Learn them and be sure to follow them.

Pop f***wit Pete is the subject of the Star’s “KATE GIVES POTTY PETE SIX OF BEST”, an article illustrated by a picture of Pete and Kate Moss and what looks at first glance like a headstone.

But we read closer, and learn that the inscription is not “HERE LIES POP F***WIT, PETE DOHERTY”, and no blue plaque is being put up on the wall at The Priory Clinic. Instead we read “KATE’S COMMANDMENTS”.

Kate Moss wants her man to hear and obey. The rules are:

1. Get rid of his loser friends
2. Start eating properly
3. Spend two hours a day writing poetry and music
4. Call her at least three times a day
4. Stop flirting with groupies
6. Stop taking drugs

In short, Kate wants Pete to stop being Pete Doherty. Or adopt him. Well, it’s less complicated than adopting an African baby. Just ask Madonna…

Posted: 16th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink