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Prince Harry’s Chedda Cheese

by | 16th, October 2006

“CHELSY UNCOVERED,” announces the Sun’s front page. “Amazing secrets reveal why Harry loves dizzy blonde.”

Prince Harry Baseball Cap is in Cape Town, South Africa, for his girlfriend Chelsy Davy’s 21st birthday party.

It’s a 20,000 roaring Twenties-themed do in the city’s Beluga restaurant. Harry, dressed Al Capone, is dancing with Chelsy, who’s wearing an emerald green 1920s flapper outfit.

They make a lovely couple do the boy she calls Haz and the girl he calls Chedda. Or it is Dubya? You see Chelsy is not all that bright. So dim is she that Harry compares her to President George ‘Dubya’ Bush.

In a speech to guests, Chelsy’s brother and friends regale the great and good with stories of how Chelsy thought mammoths were still alive and wondered why buffalos didn’t eat deer.

Chelsy’s friends say the blonde has the “memory of a goldfish”, which may be a blessing in Royal circles. She has crashed her car four times in the past year. And she does an impression of Ricky Gervais in The Office that only Harry finds funny.

She also likes a drink. And the Sun looks on as Chelsy and Harry down a few and then make for the toilets – “not for a romp”, says the paper knowingly, “but to care for her as she threw up”.

And we will be seeing more of Chelsy soon enough. As the Mail produces a shot of the blonde looking pale and “fragile” at the morning after the party, the Sun says she is on her way to study a post-graduate course at Bristol University.

Might it be that Chelsy is not so dim, just offering no challenge to the less-than–mega-bright grill-haired Royal?

He’s the one in the T–shirt that carries a picture of Chelsy on the back and on the front the words: “Spike [one of Haz’s nicknames], official bodyguard to miss CD.”

The poor boy doesn’t stand a chance…



Posted: 16th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink