Anorak News | Haves & Have Nots

Haves & Have Nots

by | 17th, October 2006

“ALL men will have big willies,” announces the Sun.

No, it’s not an election pledge from John Prescott. It’s the findings of Dr Oliver Curry of the Darwin@LSE Research Centre.

Dr Curry has been looking at the development of human beings and has found that in 1,000 years men will no longer be hung like badgers but will resemble ancient Centaurs as with their square jaws and athletic frames they prowl the shopping centres and spaceports for women.

And get a load of those babes. Dr Curry says they will have smooth hairless skin, large clear eyes, glossy hair, pert breasts and symmetrical features.

Dr Curry has seen the future. And it is good. But we will not all be equal. In 100,000 years, humanity will have split into two distinct groups: the haves and have-nots.

The haves we have already glimpsed. And it will not be for all of us. As the Mail reports, the “god-like upper class” will rule a “goblin-like underclass”.

These have-nots will be short, stocky, less intelligent and suffer from ill health. It’s a pattern illustrated in the Express, which sees two tribes.

What then happens is a matter of scientific debate. But it is believed that the meek inherit the earth and the tall play basketball and clean windows…

Posted: 17th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink