Anorak News | Drug Rap

Drug Rap

by | 20th, October 2006

“GEORGE MICHAEL ON DRUGS,” promises the Mirror’s front page.

And in honour of this “EXCLUSIVE”, the paper bills itself as “A BETTER WEED”, a pun on narcotics, such as those being lit and inhaled by the singer.

Chances are that the Mirror is printed on smoking paper, which can be rolled up and placed between the lips in the manner of a huge Cromwell Carrot. Igniting the rag will unleash a miasma of intoxicating ink and make you forget about wars and so-called serious news.

But for now we read the thing, and thereby learn that George has been on the telly.

And in this interview, to be screened on ITV1, George openly smokes a joint before the cameras. In between drags on the noxious weed, George says: “This stuff keeps me sane and happy.”

And so it might. But for many, drug taking is a menace, and we call to mind those among us who have spent passages of their lives sat behind Michael as he sits slumped at the wheel of his Range Rover entranced by the magic of traffic light.

But George seems happy enough. And alongside a picture of him smiling and holding a lit refer, George tells Melvyn Bragg: “I’d say it’s a great drug – but obviously it’s not very healthy. You can’t afford to smoke it if you’ve got anything to do. Anything at all would be foolish.”

And that would be anything like driving a car, singing a song on stage or being interviewed on TV?

Not that George smokes while driving. A message that appears at the start of the broadcast states in bald terms: “George Michael wishes to inform viewers he has never tested positive for drink or drugs when driving.”

How he has achieved this is no small thing. And if George can tell all, Briton’s teenagers and mini-cab drivers would be very appreciative.

As the Mirror notes, this is George, the driver found asleep at the wheel in central London back in February; George who drove into three parked cars in April; George who earlier this month became captivated by traffic lights.

But no fear. As the singer says, he’s not worried. “The public think I’m a man on the brink of a breakdown because I fell asleep in my car, I hit a parked car and because I cruise as a gay man,” says he.”

But he’s not. “I feel good,” says George. “I live in the house of my dreams with the man of my dreams. I’m happy with the music I’m making – and I’m still loaded.”

And watching George get loaded, our thoughts wander. And we think of food, amazing traffic lights and how we are going to, er, you know, finish this…

Posted: 20th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink