Anorak News | Tom Tum

Tom Tum

by | 21st, October 2006

TOM Cruise may soon be as wide as he is tall.

The Enquirer (“Tom gets FATTER as Katie get FITTER”) says that “TomKat” has mutated into “Tom FAT”.

Where he was once a svelte 170lbs, Tom is now 191lbs. Of course, in the greater scheme of things American, Tom is still considered to be borderline anorexic. But to we Europeans, Tom looks a little portly.

Just get a good eyeful of those man boobs. You can’t miss them – they’re at the end of the Enquirer’s arrow that says “man-boobs!”.

And while Tom gets bigger, Katie Holmes, his younger, taller lover, gets smaller. Having signed up to Buff Brides, Katie has been losing her pregnancy weight.

A source tells us that while Katie was eating vegetables, Tom was “letting himself go”. He now has “chipmunk cheeks” and “a double chin” (see arrow).

“He tries to cover up by wearing black and squeezing into tight suits, but because he’s only 5-foot-7, there’s no way to disguise 21 extra pounds.”

The insider tells us that: “If you passed him on the street now you’d mistake him for a bloated middle-aged man.”

Not that this is bad news. For starters Tom is middle-aged, and is surely just getting into character…

Posted: 21st, October 2006 | In: Reviews Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink