Anorak News | Endless Somers

Endless Somers

by | 2nd, November 2006

IN the land of the perma-tanned zipped-on-haired Hollywood star, the ageless icon is Queen.

The Enquirer brings news of Suzan Somers, once of the pappy TV show Three’s Company, and known to hundreds of daytime telly watches as the thighs of the ThighMaster home torture kit.

Suzanne is known for her rock hard thighs. And now Suzanne has proven hers is a multi-layered talent by concentrating on having a rock hard face.

And you can read all about Suzanne’s new look in her new book Angels.

Of course, the trick with being ageless is to find the age that suits you best. For most Britishers, this is around 82 years old, when bad teeth, missing hair and anaemic skin tones are badges of honour.

In Hollywood, the age at which to shout “stick” is 27. Everyone in Hollywood looks 27. Preteens with their bronzed skin, make-up and worry lines look 27. Dads with their convertible cars and hair styles look 27. Suzanne Somers looks 27.

Of course, 27 is only an average. Some part look far older, some parts far younger.

And the allegation is that Suzanne has some parts that have barely been conceived.

Appearing on the Larry King talkshow to plug her new book, Suzanne credits her 27-year-old face with bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. It is “the juice of life”.

It forms the greater part of the books title, which to give it its dues runs: “Ageless: The Naked Truth About Bioidentical Hormones.”

So Suzanne’s face is all her own work? Has she had any reconstruction? “No, this is a real face,” says Suzanne. “This is a hormone face.”

In other parts of the world calling a woman “hormone face” would result in dark looks and maybe a fistfight. But in Suzanne’s world it is high prise.

But Suzanne’s face it not made of hormone alone. Suzanne’s is a face with a past. She says she uses Botox or “fillers”, as she calls them. “Everybody does it.”

Only they do not. Not everybody does Botox, Indeed, in the UK we prefer our botulism to come wrapped in pita breads and covered in curry sauce.

And served between a pair of rock hard thighs…

Posted: 2nd, November 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink