What Jade Goody Saw
“JADE HITS A GRAN IN FACE,” says the Sun’s front page.
Reading on, we learn that Jade Goody “belted a granny twice in the face after wading in to a cinema bust-up”.
Journey with us to the Odeon Lee Valley cinema in Edmonton, North London. Jade and lover Jack Tweedy are making ready to watch blood-‘n’-guts slasher movie Saw 3.
The cinema is busy. Youths are present. A popcorn fight breaks out. On one side are Adele, boyfriend Lee and grandmother Brenda Sparks. On the other side is at least one teenage girl.
The popcorn runs out and sweet and salty snack food is replaced by flying fists. Eight people bundle into the foyer, Jade and Jack among them.
“This woman punched me first and I defended myself,” says Jade. “I was trying to help. I’d only wanted a quiet night and then all this happened.”
Indeed. It is Jade’s misfortune to become embroiled in a cinema brawl. But such things are commonplace and it is only by the grace of God that nachos and hot melted cheese were not involved in the fracas.
But it is nasty. Jack sees Jade struck on the back. Says he: “But rather than run she stood her ground and whacked this woman a couple of times on the nose.”
Jake then tells us how he grabbed “some bloke”, made him apologise to Jade and then beat him up.
With such rich entertainment on offer in foyer it is no small wonder that so many of us are choosing to spurn TV for a night at the movies.
But Brenda is less than pleased. “Her language was disgusting,” says Brenda of Jade. “She called me a fat c***. I used to like her from the telly but now I think she’s a piggy-faced thug.”
Indeed. But the Sun does not see a fight. It sees a champion. And in “THE GOODY [Jade], THE BAD [Jack] AND THE UGLY {Brenda]”, the Sun hails Jade the hero.
Of course, it might be that the horror film is to blame, a video nasty that has caused Jade to flip out and ape what she has seen.
In which case, we urge Jack to take care and put a lock on the tool box…
Posted: 8th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
