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Goody News

by | 9th, November 2006

PHEW! Jade Goody has been given the all clear.

It is good of the Sun not to keep us in the dark. And one day on from hearing that lovable Jade punched a grandma in the face, the Sun tells us that she is dong fine.

“Fighting fit” Jade Goody has been given the all-clear from bowel- cancer.

As reported in these pages, Jade was having tummy troubles. And while many feared a rogue kebab had done its damnedest, there was talk of something even worse.

Jade went in for “a barrage” of tests at Princess Alexandra Hospital in Harlow, Essex.

Jade was worried. What could be wrong? Did Jade’s troubled mind cause her to lash out at the Edmonton Odeon, the scene of her granny bashing? Can too much curry sauce be bad for belly and brain?

We waited. We fretted. We paced the corridor. We nipped out for a kebab. We left the kebab uneaten.

And now after what seems like forever, the Sun says the Jade does not have cancer. It is our guess that Jade does not have lot of other very dangerous diseases.

Right it is that she is happy. As a “pal” tells us: “Jade is delighted – she was really worried. The doctors don’t know yet what caused the pain but they have ruled out cancer, which is fantastic.”

No argument with that. It is a time to celebrate.

And what better way to mark this great moment than with a kebab? More curry sauce, please, my good man.

Eat, drink, and be merry… for tomorrow we die…

Posted: 9th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink