Simon Cowell’s Little Angelis
IS SIMON Cowell pop music’s Fagin?
OK!’s picture of the celebrity maker shows him being pampered by six little boys and girls.
Collectively the gang are known as Angelis. They are Simon’s little Angelis, bringing him a platter of fruit, his phones and a pot of tea.
OK! says Cowell is not really the “bad boy” of the music industry. For starters, he is well into his forties. The only boy in showbusiness still working at that age and beyond is little Jimmy Krankie, and on closer inspection he turns out to be a geriatric girl.
You see, Simon is not a breaker of wannabes’ hearts. No, he is not. Simon is the “cuddly bear” who has set out to make household names of Moray West, 11, Amy Dow, 11, Joe Martin, 11, Sam Adams Nye, 14, Camilla Seale, 12, and Natalie Grace Chua, 13.
The gang have recorded an album which is, as OK!” notes, set to see them storm the Christmas charts.
OK! says this collection of pre-teens and adolescents is “incredibly excited” about their album hitting the charts. And so they should be.
Not that they are easily exited. They are, as Cowell tells us, “artists”. Simon says he feels protective towards them. “But I don’t talk to them as children – I talk to them as artists and we have normal conversations.”
Oh dear. A normal conversation with a pop music artist goes something like this:
Manager: Just sing the ruddy song. Smile. And get off the stage without falling over or looking too stoned.
Artiste: F**k you! Get me some red Smarties. I could have you killed. I’m the star, the one they pay to see.
Manager: The Smarties are on their way. They love you. Everybody loves you…
Perhaps it would be best to hear from the band first hand. And they all agree that Simon is not at ogre.
Amy says she thinks of Simon as a panda bear. Amy, who seems to be the group’s unofficial spokesperson, says she remembers watching people on television and thinking “one day this will be me”.
Amy, as we have noted, is age 11.
But what of the music? Little is mentioned. So we check out the “official” Angelis website and note that the album contains such sure-fire hits as Pie Jesus (Smack My Bitch Up Mix), Walking In The Air (Ez Are Good) and Morning Has Broken.
You can buy the album in all good shops and even more bad ones sometime soon…
Posted: 10th, November 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
