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Model Wags

by | 13th, November 2006

WITH Wag Danielle Lloyd sacked from her post as Miss GB for alleged vote rigging, a replacement is needed.

Time is pressing. Britain needs a champion of planet-saving beauty. But rather than just hand the dislodged crown to the show’s runner up, Louise White (Miss Basildon), the Sun reopens the contest.

“You pick the next Miss GB,” invites the paper’s headline.

A phone number appears beneath the picture of each mo-del, suitably attired in a Union Jack bikini, and a brief biography and election manifesto.

In the interests of fairness, the contest is only open to the agonists of old, and we begin our review with the robbed Miss White.

“I’ve received so much support on MySpace from fellow Essex people,” says Louise. “My ambition is to be a TV presenter on something like Love Island.”

Louise fails to make it clear whether she wants to present the reality TV show or appear on it as celebrity TV presenter. We imagine she’d take either job.

Natalie Weston, 23, (Miss Wolverhampton) has a degree in law, which she might use in later life – perhaps to sue the event organisers if the voting is again mired in controversy.

Natalie is not the only one with brains and beauty.

Holly Hughes (Miss Lincoln) is studying for a degree in fashion and design, “but I won I’d commit myself to modelling.”

Louise Cole (Miss Chichester) has a degree in psychology, which she hopes to use to help disadvantaged children. How is unclear, but Louise does not rule out presenting a TV show on the psychological impact of being a contestant on Love island, or mental disorders associated with watching the show.

Or she cold investigate the behaviour of Big Brother contestants.

And here is one of that number. It’s Orlaith McAllister (Miss Belfast), a former Big Brother contestant whose claim to fame was having breasts that appeared to be on the point of melting into the house’s Jacuzzi.

Orlaith hates “self-obsessed people” and thinks it’s been “a fantastic competition”.

Results to follow…

Posted: 13th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink