Anorak News | Toxic Stunna

Toxic Stunna

by | 30th, November 2006

ALEXANDER Litvinenko continues to look unwell.

Better, perhaps, to replace the now familiar shot of the former Russian KGB operative with something healthier, more robust, more feminine.

So the Sun has looked at the staff roster at London’s Itsu restaurant, where Litvinenko dined on the day he was poisoned, and spots 22-year-old Ela Malek.

“Stunning” Ela is the brunette who came into contact with Litvinenko that fateful day.

“I feel like I’m caught in the middle of some mad spy movie,” says would-be Bond girl Ela, “terrified” she too has been poisoned. “Friends who know I worked at this restaurant are too scared to touch me in case I contaminate them. It’s horrible.”

To the Sun’s tutored eye, Polish Ela looks fit enough. Her shiny hair is still attached to her pretty head. Her complexion is more peaches and cream than Polonium-210 yellow. But she does have a “strange rash” on the legs she keeps wrapped in a tight pair of jeans.

Along with 19 of her co-workers, Ela is waiting on the results of tests to see if she has been damaged by Polonium-210.

And it’s just as well she has already had her blood checked because the NHS can expect a rush of worried people any moment now.

“Spy nuke poison found on two BA jets,” says the Star’s front page. The Express says that up to 33,000 people may have been exposed to the radiation toxin that killed Litvinenko.

Forensic tests of planes flying the London to Moscow route have revealed traces of a radioactive substance on two Boeing 747s. Each plane can carry up to 252 passengers, two pilots and seven cabin crew. Since October 25 (why this date is selected we are not told), the jets have made 220 flights between Heathrow airport and 10 European destinations.

The Express lists the destinations as Moscow, Madrid, Barcelona, Vienna, Dusseldorf, Istanbul, Athens, Frankfurt, Larnaca and Stockholm.

It says that BA is advising customers who flew with them to these places to contact NHS Direct.

And what if it is Polonium-210? We have already heard Ela say her friends are too scared to even touch her. Did any of the fliers aboard the infected jets touch anyone on their travels?

If you have met anyone who has flown on these jets, the advice is to get along to the NHS for a thorough check-up.

Indeed, if you think you know someone who might have touched a passenger aboard any of these flights, the advice is to see a doctor immediately.

And avoid eating fish…

Posted: 30th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink