Anorak News | The Royal Courtney

The Royal Courtney

by | 5th, December 2006

Courtney Love and Prince Andrew are on the sofa 

THE Duke of York is blissfully ignorant that his affair will outrage the Queen.”

So said a senior courtier in 2002 when stories abounded that Prince Andrew was having a passionate affair with a high-class prostitute and socialite.

The truth of the matter was never proven one way or the other. And while many recalled Randy Andy, the royal lothario who’d dated Koo Stark(ers) and glamour mo-del Vicky Hodge, others pointed to there being little time for romance amid Andrew’s role as the House of Windsor’s roving golf ambassador.

And now we read in the Sun of Andrew’s visit to the Los Angeles home of Courtney Love, singer with the band Hole and former wife of the late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain.

The Sun talks of the “Riddle” of Andrew’s visit to Love’s home. But this riddle is not all that hard to solve, at least not for the Express, which knows more than is decent about matters sexual.

“Night Andrew came ‘looking for chicks’,” says the paper’s headline. “Prince Andrew turns up at my house at one in the morning and he wants to party,” says Love.

But it is late. The cucumber sandwiches are not sliced. Love has no suitable hat. These are the vital ingredients of any royal party, are they not? What to do? What do to?

And you can read all about what Love did do. The Mail says this revelation is available in a hard cover, forming, as it does, part of the singer’s latest book Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love. And note the Mail’s recollection of the time Love stripped before Andrew at a “fundraising” event at London’s Old Vic theatre.

So here’s Love in bunny slippers and a fluffy robe sat on the sofa with the prince. And…

And she puts the kettle on and makes not a cup but a pot of tea. She does not say “C’mon Big Boy, do all the different dirty things to me you ever wanted to do.”

She pours tea.

While the prince, allegedly, wants her to bring him down, to make him filthy, to rid him of his inhibitions and fustiness, she wants him to educate her and raise her up. More tea, Andrew.

And would you like some cookies..?

Posted: 5th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink