Anorak News | Aniston Goes On

Aniston Goes On

by | 7th, December 2006

JENNIFER Aniston smiles out at the world from the front page of the Express. Will you be her friend?

You see, the actress is "FRIENDLESS". Harsh, perhaps, but the Express has never been a paper to shirk from the truth, however painful. Whether it’s highlighting the dangers of Rogarian gipsies in your garden, weather (the front-page headline warns of "100MPG STORMS THEN BLIZZARDS") or speculating on just how gangantuan Jordan’s breasts are, it holds a firm line.

So Jen is friendless, ironic given that she made her reputation in the hit TV show Friends.

And Aniston is also boyfriendless, having ended her relationship with Vince Vaughn, her tall co-star on the movie – irony of ironies – The Break Up.

The Express looks back over what must be the most sexless and wholesome relationship between two Hollywood stars since Grandma and Grandpa Walton fell off their godforsaken mountain.

Not that Jen and Vince are prudes. As ther Mail reports, they have split amid reports that he dallied with a 20-year-old student. A spokesman for the couple says: "Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship but continue to be good friends today."

No mention is made of this young woman in official depatches. It is left to the Mail to sniff out Vaughn in Budapest. There he is said to have encountered university student Laura Mallory Lane in a cocktail bar.

So much for him. But what of Jen. "JEN’S SINGLE AGAIN, LADS," announces the Sun. And surely she is.

And she is also, as we have learned, friendless. And having been once divorced and now involed in a high-profile split, we urge would-be suitors to tread carefully.

Indeed, before going out with Jen, interested males may care to see what movie she’s working on. If Aniston’s life does mirror her art, as the Express notes, than her role in High Maintenance should not be taken lightly…

Posted: 7th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink