Fit For Purpose
AS Cherie Blair despatches her private Christmas cards, each wrapped in a plain brown envelope and then secreted between the covers of Barrister’s Husbands, the Mail sees some other seasonal missives from on high.
“The ministers not wishing you a ‘Merry Christmas’”, says the Mail. It reproduces a picture of Home Secretary John Reid’s card.
Mr Reid is believed to be delivering each card personally and you are reminded not to be alarmed should the stalwart of law and order find cause to peer though your letter box as he makes his rounds.
Recipients of Reid’s good cheer see a Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square. A smattering of people mill around the landmark. Their faces are unclear. Do you know them? Look again. Study the image, seemingly taken from CCTV footage. If you recognise any of the people call John. He’d like to know their names, passport numbers and religious persuasion.
And while we study the cards, and swab the envelope for Reid’s DNA – no-one is above suspicion – a second card arrives.
This one is from Des Browne. He’s the secretary of state for defence, successor to John Reid. Browne’s card features a photograph, a picture of a blonde, white British solider talking to two small brown-skinned Pakistani children.
We can only guess at what he is telling them? Readers with knowledge of defence procedures may like to insert a suitable caption, something like “It’ll all be over by Christmas”, “Don’t talk to strangers”.
While Browne salutes his friends with that, Patricia Hewitt delivers her seasonal greeting. Like Reid, her picture features a London attraction, in this instance a view of the Houses of Westminster reflected in the River Thames.
Hewitt is the Health Secretary, the nanny state’s live-in nanny who rarely if ever knows best. Hewitt, the champion of the Government’s cloying, manipulative and moralistic anti-smoking propaganda, has a card that should carry a Government health warning.
“Danger,” begins the advice from the Secretary General beneath that picture of Parliament. “Declaring war on a pretext seriously harms you and others around you.”
If you need help quitting, call a general election…
Picture:bbdo
Posted: 12th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
