Anorak News | Ahmadinejad Is Kevin Federline

Ahmadinejad Is Kevin Federline

by | 12th, December 2006

“DEATH to the dictator.”

And surely death will come, just as it came to Augusto Pinochet, the former Chilean leader whose departure the Times marks with a cartoon of his coffin being kicked from a helicopter into the sea.

Perhaps down there in the briny Pinochet will encounter Kevin Federline, estranged husband to pop tart Britney Spears, the man the papers are enthralled by.

A man now so universally loathed he too was recently offed in a skit, his body nailed into a coffin and thrown into the sea. How the audience cheered.

There is certainly more than a hint of the celebrity, the Federline, in the dictator. Granted, Federline has yet to make hundreds of people disappear, his crimes extending to the murder of music and Britney’s image, but fame is fame.

For billboards of Spears, see statues of Saddam. For Lenin’s embalmed and frozen features see Michael Jackson. For Cliff Richard see Tony Blair.

So what of Iran’s President Ahmadinejad? Sure, Ahmadinejad was the winner of his country’s popular vote, wining 62% of the vote in the run-off poll, nearly twice that of ex-President Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani.

But didn’t Kerry Katona once win I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? Strange things happen when the voting booths and phone lines open.

But still Ahmadinejad governs with a manic vanity. You have to be vain to make announcements like: “The foreign policy of the Islamic Republic of Iran is in principle based on the establishment of peace and justice worldwide”, “Anybody who recognizes Israel will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation’s fury” and “Powerful Iran is the best friend of the neighbouring states and the best guarantor of regional security”.

But, as we say, everyone has their day. And Ahmadinejad’s might be approaching.

Iran is right now hosting a conference that aims as Manouchehr Mottaki, Iran’s lickspittle Foreign Minister, says with no mere hint of mendacity, to create a forum for people “who cannot express their views freely about the Holocaust”.

The Holocaust, that systematic murder of six millions Jews that Ahmadinejad calls a “myth”. It’s being debated in Iran, that land of the free, where you can be yourself, speak out and everyone knows your name.

This exercise in revision is attracting the attention of some other free thinkers. As the Times says, “dozens” of Iranian students are chanting “Death to the dictator”.

The Times hears a protestor call the event “shameful”. He says the conference “has brought to our country Nazis and racists from all around the world.”

Tue enough. But Ahmadinejad says the protesters been “Americanised”. And, no, this is not meant as a compliment by the man who denies women the rights as men.

Says he: “Everyone know that Ahmadinejad is prepared to be burnt in the path of true freedom, independence and justice.”

Yes, Ahmadinejad talks about himself in the third person, in the same way former England footballer Alan Shearer talks about doing what is right for Alan Shearer.

Ahmadinejad wants to be a celebrity. Forget America’s Most Hated Kevin Federline, here comes the pariah of the entire planet…

Posted: 12th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink