2006 – Binge & Gone
THE ninth rule of journalism dictates that tales of alcoholic excess must be illustrated by pictures of young women in short skirts.
The Express meets this obligation with commendable ease. And then surpasses itself with a picture of two girls embracing in Norwich. For purposes of identification one girl pulls her friend’s skirt up and over her knickers-encased backside.
Another picture shows three girls walking arm-in-arm about Newcastle. And then we are back in Norwich where a young woman (short tartan skirt and black boots) “lies in the gutter”.
Could this be the same girl we have already seen in that shameless embrace? Note again the skirt. Consider once more the boots. Not sure?
But before the Express’s man on the scene can dash over and solve the puzzle by pulling the woman’s skirt up and over her backside, the Mail steps in.
It too is in Norwich. And it spots a girl in the street. “Her skirt has ridden up around her waist, her handbag is lying beside her and she is too drunk to care,” says the caption.
Gallantly, the paper wastes not a moment in whipping out its camera and taking a picture. This girl looks much like the Express’s picture of “debauchery UK”.
But such is the uniform way of fashion that one girl lying in the gutter with a tartan skirt riding up and her booted legs splayed looks very much like another.
See the male youth in Bristol standing dutifully alongside his “vomiting girlfriend”. Note her patterned short skirt and black boots. This is the “the New Year binge” and the dress code is clear.
It is the “NASTY NEW YEAR”, and the Mirror spots girls in Norwich, naturally. One girl rests her head on a dustbin. She is wearing a skirt. But in a departure from the norm she is wearing brown and not black boots.
Has she lost her black boots? Has her mind become altered by booze making brown appear as black? Is she about to be sick? And is her friend assuring her that she should get some fresh air…to her backside.
And is the Star’s girl lying on the “deck” in Norwich going to catch her death of cold? Or survive that and die of embarrassment?
Posted: 2nd, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
