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Balance Of Payments

by | 12th, January 2007

AS David and the Beckhams head to the United States, their departure creates some space in the UK.

Not that the Beckhams are the only Brits seeking their fortunes out West. The Mail looks at “the ultimate life swop” as Mark and Judith Stephens exchange their £200,000 Gloucester home for a £258,000 mansion in Dexter, Maine.

For just £58,000 more, the couple get a big wooden house covered in snow. A look at the town’s official website, and we learn that Dexter has a nine-hole municipal golf course and driving range, a public beach and picnic areas, and “boasts one of Maine’s best small municipal regional airport’s which offers 3,000 feet of lighted paved runway”.

Who could not be turned onto a new life in America, where the dear and the antelope roam?

Well, not the Poles, who the Mail sees arriving in the UK. And the Mail says this “surge” in arrivals from Eastern Europe “is changing British society”.

Just as residents of Dexter, Maine, will adapt to their British neighbours and start downing alcopops at Tiffin, and the Beckhams will turn America onto football and chants of “Does she take it up the a***”, Britain will take to Polish tripe and cheap vodka.

The Mail says that some local newspapers have brought out special Polish editions. Supermarkets are stocking pickled cabbage. And banks are opening branches for Polish speakers.

“The Bank of Poland,” announces the Mail, and readers learn of Lloyds-TSB’s new retail services for Poles.

These new branches will have signs, brochures and forms in Polish. Foreigners interested in opening an account will need only to show one form of ID and no evidence of a fixed postal address.

But, of course, these banks are still in Britain. And the Mail says they will serve native customers and operate as normal.

It is a cultural exchange, a mutual learning programme. While the British learn the Polish for “final demand” and “overdraft facility”, the Poles learn how to form an orderly queue.



Posted: 12th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink