Anorak News | Nuclear War Looms

Nuclear War Looms

by | 18th, January 2007

small_171152_1_1169112107.jpg“WE stand on the brink of second nuclear age.”

It should not go unmentioned that both the UK and India have nuclear weapons.

And before any missiles are fired in what the Star’s front page calls “BB: IT’S WORLD WAR III”, we sue for peace.

Is it too late for both sides to come together and agree that Jade Goody should be shot at dawn, her remains burnt and served in a small, soft roll?

The clock is ticking. “2 MINUTES CLOSER TO DOOM,” says the Mirror’s headline.

A spokesman for the keepers of the so-called Doomsday Clock tells the paper: “Not since the first atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki has the world faced such perilous choices.”

We call upon each and every one of you to vote Jade Goody out of Big Brother before it’s too late. The clock is ticking. The hands draw ever closer together, a moment in prayer before the kaboom of midnight.

But we still have five minutes. Admittedly we have had seven minutes to live since the clock was established in 1947.

Back then a group of physicists concerned about the prospect of imminent Armageddon, constructed their clock. The Mirror says the Doomsday Clock serves as a “barometer” of man-made danger. And the hands have just been edged forward by full two minutes.

This is just too awful. Lord Rees, President of the Royal Society, tells the paper that the threat of nuclear holocaust is now at its highest.

Says Rees: “Even a single technician… will soon have the ability to cause massive disruption through error or terror.” He warns: “The global village will have its village idiots.”

We give you Jade Goody…

Posted: 18th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink