33’s A Crowd
KATE Moss is 33. And she has had a row with boyfriend Pete Doherty.
So reports the Star.
Were Doherty of Asian extraction, chances are high that this spat would have led the day’s news coverage, or at least challenged Jade Goody’s sparking of “Word War III” for prominence.
But while Moss’s PRs look into Pete’s ancestry, the Mirror sees the couple arriving at London’s China Tang eatery.
“A happy birthday to LOO!” chimes the Mirror as it watches Moss make many trips to the toilets.
Why Moss should go to the toilets is something the paper does not investigate. But the Star does note that Moss does not make these trips alone.
So often is Moss in the cubicles that some of her guests, including billionaire Sir Philip Green, the venue’s owner David Tang and professional pal Sadie Frost, follow her in.
The paper says that all parties end up in the toilet singing happy birthday to Kate.
No shots of this toilet party are forthcoming, and the Mail instead makes do with pictures of Moss dressed in a cream dress, white fur coat and strappy heels.
The First Rule of Kate says that all stories of her being must be accompanied by a full look at her outfit. There should also be space given over to her alleged dalliance with cocaine (see Second Rule of Kate). And while the Mail overlooks this, the Mirror sticks to the rules.
And after making mention of cocaine Kate, the paper sees Kate’s pals hand her a present.
In the style of an ITV phone-in quiz show, we ask is it: a) a toilet roll; B) a bucket; or C) a pink 50 watt bulb? Take your time.
That’s right. Well done, you. It is a bound book of pictures spanning Moss’s modelling career. The tome may even be a shot of Kate chopping those lines in a London recording studio. Wasn’t that that image that cemented Moss’s legend?
And until we get a shot of Moss dancing/crying/puking in the toilet, it will have to do…
Posted: 18th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
