Anorak News | Loony For George Clooney

Loony For George Clooney

by | 22nd, January 2007

loony-for-george-clooney.jpg“IS the world ready for another Clinton in the White House?”

The Express asks the questions. And it presses on: “Unlike her husband, Hillary’s only lust is for power. But Bill’s past still threatens to scupper the dream she has harboured all her life.”

Hillary is to seek election as the President of the US of A. And the Express looks over the career of the woman whose appearance and manner less damn husband Bill’s sexual waywardness as explain it.

It’s Hillary in that yellow jacket, white shirt and pearls. It’s Hillary with her perfect teeth and no glasses. It’s Hillary with flawless skin.

Hillary pops up again in the Mirror. And while the Express asks the question – and over two pages of text gets no closer to answering it – the Mirror nails its colours to the mast.

“Why the world needs Hillary,” says the headline. This article is penned by Gavin Esler, the BBC’s Newsnight presenter, the man known to millions as “Not Jeremy Paxman – The Other One”.

Esler likes Hillary. He says she is “good for America, good for Britain and good for the world.”

But Clinton is about scandal to some. Clinton is about Monica Lewinsky. There are concerned voices. “What would Bill be like, they say, prowling the White House corridors, chatting up the female staff, as an under-employed ‘First Man’ to Hillary’s president?”

It’s another question. And another: Would Hillary’s quest for power, the mission to become the most powerful figure in the Free World, be undone as quickly as Bill can lower the zip on his trousers?

Perhaps the real question is how something so trivial and personal as Bill’s private member can be so important when what is good for America, Britain and the world is at stake?

Do we like our politicians scandalous and sexual? Do we want them to care about how they look and if they are fancied? Or do we want something clean, untarnished, free of vice and the seedier side of humanity?

Do we want Hillary? Or George Clooney? Fancy him? Would America vote for Clooney?

The Express asks Clooney why he has given so much of his attention to highlighting the abuse in Dafur.

Says Clooney: “My Dad taught me that I have to give back to people and that’s what this is all about.”

You want the folksy, homespun simplicity of Bill Clinton with ironing filing hair and a mischievous glint? Vote Clooney.

So will he stand? “Run for office?” asks Clooney. “No. I’ve slept with too many women and I’ve done too many drugs. And I’ve been to too many parties.”

So instead of President Clooney, the world gets President Dubya, a man who appears as an advert to highlight the dangers of recreational drug use and frat house parties.

Instead of President Clooney, the world gets a joke to which the punchline is always Dubya’s America.

Or America can have Clinton. But not Bill.

Hillary Clinton has desire. But not much; for power not interns. Hillary Clinton has lust. But not much; for power not sex. Hillary Clinton has a presence. But not much; of force not charisma.

But Hillary Clinton wants it. Question is: will enough voters want to give it to her?

Posted: 22nd, January 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink